God, I hate these dumb ass motherfuckers in cyberspace. Are they for real or are they fucking with me too?
Last night, after a week's bout with anxiety (okay, it's been more like 30-something years), I'm looking at videos on YouTube. After watching the 5th season opener for THE FACTS OF LIFE, I posted something like this:
My favorite episode that season was when Blair fingered Tootie's ass.
Something short and sweet.
Then I'm led on a leash somehow into watching about fifty more videos. One of them was "Mickey," the hit song by Toni Basil from 1982. Total bubblegum fun. The video is energetic as the singer dances, bounces, kicks, splits, builds pyramids with cheerleaders and all kind of wheeeeeeeeeee!
So I posted something like, "She was 70-years-old when she made this video. She was in great shape!"
I actually received a response to that comment in my e-mail. Verbatim, it says:
actually about 39 - she was born in 1943
Jesus Christ. I cannot stand when people take pop culture so seriously!
Friday, July 23, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Malaise and Madame
Honestly, I just don't know what to say.
I feel bored, and that scares me.
Is it peace creeping into my life?
It's like a malaise.
"Malaise-lite."
My life has been a ridiculous pattern of climbing up hills, reaching towers, and tumbling down, being thrown off - SPLAT! - in the middle of the moat, and getting up to do it again.
Sisyphusism.
I just do not know what to say, really, and I'm rarely at a loss for words. It's like that horrible dinner date I went on a few months ago. When we were in bed fucking, there was plenty to say. When we sat at a table across from each other eating hamburger sandwiches, my mind as empty as the sky after a storm.
The website I frequent more than any other is YouTube. I love it for music, clips of movies, and comedy bits. Sometimes I will get an old TV-theme song in my head and need to look it up - thank God for YouTube to satiate that pressing obligation. YouTube has recommendations for me that I check daily and because I looked at the Gimme a Break! theme song one day, they recommended this show called "Madam's Place" with that insane looking puppet:
(When I looked up an image for this fright, there were several comparisons to Joan Rivers, which are quite apt. Other celebrities that were compared to Madame include Cher, Quentin Tarantino, and Dolly Parton. There was also an image of George W. Bush next to Madame, which made me wonder if Bill Clinton fucked her.)
I sent an e-mail out with a clip to the show's theme song. This is where I get into wondering who is going (A) understand how extremely funny this clip is because of its camp value and (B) appreciate my brilliance because I wrote "Why the FUCK is this show still not on the air!?!?"
In any case, the show's introduction is hysterically funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EG2yJs3SwCM
Sample lyrics include:
When a young man looks at Madame,
She just throws herself right at him!
She's young at heart and still getting her kicks!
AND
Here at Madam's Place
She's the perfect host.
She rocks the airways
From coast to coast.
Then is says something about her
...charms in this funny farm
Okay.
Okay.
Another hilarious aspect of the theme is that it that when it flashes the actors' names on screen, it also states their characters' names AND what the character's role on the show is.
For example:
Also Starring:
Susan Tolsky
as Bernadette
her secretary
Johnny Haymer
as Pinkerton
her butler
Corey Feldman [yes, that one]
as Buzzy
the neighbor kid [with the Adam Rich haircut]
Ty Henderson [token black guy]
as Barney
her producer
Shit! This show was designed for mentally retarded gay men and people who watched Hollywood Squares, which could be one and the same.
But I will confess that I am now wanting to watch Madame videos. For anthropological research reasons only.
I feel bored, and that scares me.
Is it peace creeping into my life?
It's like a malaise.
"Malaise-lite."
My life has been a ridiculous pattern of climbing up hills, reaching towers, and tumbling down, being thrown off - SPLAT! - in the middle of the moat, and getting up to do it again.
Sisyphusism.
I just do not know what to say, really, and I'm rarely at a loss for words. It's like that horrible dinner date I went on a few months ago. When we were in bed fucking, there was plenty to say. When we sat at a table across from each other eating hamburger sandwiches, my mind as empty as the sky after a storm.
The website I frequent more than any other is YouTube. I love it for music, clips of movies, and comedy bits. Sometimes I will get an old TV-theme song in my head and need to look it up - thank God for YouTube to satiate that pressing obligation. YouTube has recommendations for me that I check daily and because I looked at the Gimme a Break! theme song one day, they recommended this show called "Madam's Place" with that insane looking puppet:
(When I looked up an image for this fright, there were several comparisons to Joan Rivers, which are quite apt. Other celebrities that were compared to Madame include Cher, Quentin Tarantino, and Dolly Parton. There was also an image of George W. Bush next to Madame, which made me wonder if Bill Clinton fucked her.)
I sent an e-mail out with a clip to the show's theme song. This is where I get into wondering who is going (A) understand how extremely funny this clip is because of its camp value and (B) appreciate my brilliance because I wrote "Why the FUCK is this show still not on the air!?!?"
In any case, the show's introduction is hysterically funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EG2yJs3SwCM
Sample lyrics include:
When a young man looks at Madame,
She just throws herself right at him!
She's young at heart and still getting her kicks!
AND
Here at Madam's Place
She's the perfect host.
She rocks the airways
From coast to coast.
Then is says something about her
...charms in this funny farm
Okay.
Okay.
Another hilarious aspect of the theme is that it that when it flashes the actors' names on screen, it also states their characters' names AND what the character's role on the show is.
For example:
Also Starring:
Susan Tolsky
as Bernadette
her secretary
Johnny Haymer
as Pinkerton
her butler
Corey Feldman [yes, that one]
as Buzzy
the neighbor kid [with the Adam Rich haircut]
Ty Henderson [token black guy]
as Barney
her producer
Shit! This show was designed for mentally retarded gay men and people who watched Hollywood Squares, which could be one and the same.
But I will confess that I am now wanting to watch Madame videos. For anthropological research reasons only.
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