I know that my last blog was a little feeling-sorry-for-myself. It was the beginning of a migraine cycle, what can I say. Okay, and I do feel like I should receive an award or certificate or medal for taking care of myself sometimes. I just do. It's an area in my life where I'm immature, I'll admit it.
It's chilly out right now, and drizzling. I was thinking, though, of how neat it might feel to walk down the street naked if it were about 15 degrees warmer. Think about the precipitation on your privates, the breeze on your butt, the sun on your areola. How freeing it would feel! Why must it be only 3-year-olds and women on angel dust and/or crack who get to experience nudity in public?
Why no go to a nudist beach, Anonymister?, you may ask.
Uh, because I possess common decency.
So my sister texts me:
OMG, there's this this website called ____________ and this hermaphrodite has sex with this girl and the girl eats its pussy and sucks its dick and i was like gagging and almost threw up. it's so disgusting!
My first thought is for her to send me the link.
Years ago, in 1999, I read the book Geek Love. Very well written book. An ex-boyfriend had sent it to me (it was my first package ever delivered from amazon.com) because at that time I was very into freaks. (Is there a politically correct way to say it - "freaks"? Who cares? Are they going to boycott my blog?) These were people with physical abnormalities. I loved them. I wanted to find some to be my friends. I don't know why; I just did. I had watched the Tod Browning film "Freaks" and fallen in love with them, especially Schlitzie.
I remember my sister sitting with me in my apartment and watching me rewind the VCR tape and watch the scenes with Schlitzie over and over.
Jesus Christ, she would exclaim. Enough already!
I don't know why I like the things I like.
Anyway, this was when I had first discovered the internet, 1999. I would surf the web and find website after website about freaks. Massive human beings, tiny people, emaciated people, ugly people with cranial deformities, people with extra body parts located in fucked-up places, people with missing body parts...oh, the list went heavenly on and on. There were, too, the delightful conjoined twins (that's politically correct; do NOT call them "Siamese twins").
Like any addiction, it took more and more for me to get a hit. I needed more and more freakish pictures to delight in the freakishness of the specimen.
Let me add that I was in graduate school at the time. It was a great distraction when I had to read empirical research. However, I had only so much time to search the web. I was not savvy about searching for websites and if google.com existed, I was not aware of it. So there was just a limited amount of time and sites that I saw.
Fast forward to now.
Of course I go to the website that my sister talked about. I want to see the hermaphrodite have sex! I read the Pulitzer-Prize winning novel Middlesex!
But when I got to the site, I lost courage.
Is this what comes when one gets older?
I used to relish in looking at the freakiest shit possible.
And "shit" is not an exaggeration. If I heard about a site with German people squealing "Ja, Ja" while they farted in each others mouths and sucked a shitty dildo, my fingers made a beeline for that site!
Now, though, I don't want to upset my subconscious.
I don't want to watch a video of a whore with a toilet seat around her face while she sucks a man's stump leg (although typing that did make me giggle).
I don't want to see an old woman with a massive maggot infestation in her face.
I don't want to watch "handicapped sex." Nor do I want to see pussy lips knotted or carrots stuffed up someone's asshole. I just don't.
I'd really rather see flowers and kittens and sunsets.
BUT
I will admit that I watched the small penis contest that Howard Stern had on his show.
This makes me doubt the existence of God. I mean, how cruel! I've seen clits bigger than some of those dicks.
No comments:
Post a Comment