One Skin, Two Skin, Three Skin...

A few years ago a placed an ad online for tutoring. I tutored two Jewish sisters for more than a year. Their parents were very good to me; quite generous. I have heard about the stereotype of cheap Jewish people, but have never experienced it. All of my experiences with Jewish people, all of my Jewish friends, have been nothing but generous. Food! Money! Time and love!
One day, after I had been tutoring the girls for months, I received a text message from the father:
Are you circumcised?
Something about the tone seemed urgent.
I replied that I indeed am.
He responded that he and his wife were just wondering. And then explained that "HIV is easier to contract if a person is uncircumcised and you're a top."
What kind liberal straight people to worry about me and my physical health!

When I grew up, I did not know about anything but circumcised penises. My father is circumcised, as are my brothers, as were all of my friends. I did not know about uncircumcised penises until I saw one in a textbook when I was around 12-years-old. I thought it looked ugly. It reminded me of a cocoon hanging from a branch.
I first experienced one with a Chilean boyfriend when I was 17-years-old. I was at a party with a bunch of men. This guy was 21. We got high all night and then went into a bedroom where someone was passed out on the floor. During making out, we put our hands down each others' pants. His penis, though definitely hard, felt gelatinous at the same time. And then I smelled something somewhat rancid. This was was my first experience with smegma.
Squishy and fishy.
Fortunately I haven't had many more experiences with it. It is heinously gross.
A friend of mine told me that there is a cheese in France made from smegma. I was incredulous and told him he was insane. I also told him this was his sick fantasy.
I have since had boyfriends with uncircumcised penises whose hygiene was impeccable. This is necessary for me.
I remember there was one boyfriend, when I lived in a large midwestern city, who was clean and uncircumcised. When we were finished having sex, he asked if I had any Q-tips. I did, and directed him to their location in the bathroom. Curious about his urgency for Q-tips, I peeked into the bathroom, assuming that he was cleaning out his foreskin. Why wouldn't I think this - he was so clean! However, he was swabbing out his ears. Nothing was on the Q-tip cotton. Turned out this was a ritual that he performed after every orgasm.