Be Creative!

Have thought of starting a blog because my mind moves and moves and there are always - always! - things that I want to say because I think that I'm so goddamned entertaining.
Had a surgery a few weeks ago and have been in chronic pain. Have had to take painkillers, things that I liked too much in the past. Worried about coming off them. The spiritual advisor tells me:
1. Suck on lollipops.
2. Color in coloring books and get colored (is that racist?) pencils. "You have to be creative, Anonymister."
3. Help other people.
Response:
1. I don't like lollipops.
2. I don't like coloring books or pencils. That is just corny. Retarded in a bad way. Sorry, spiritual advisor!
3. Okay, I can do that. Will call others today who are having a hard time. Or just call anyone and ask about them and do my best to focus on their issues and not mine.
So I begin the blog. That's creativity, no? That's a way to get my mind off the nausea and creepy feeling of fatigue. Fortunately there isn't a real craving. There are, however, THOUGHTS!
Like: I miss having the pain that I have hated for several weeks because it was a free way to taking narcotics. It was a legit reason to get high. Except I didn't get high; that is what happens when one takes prescription medication the way they are prescribed, I suppose. How the hell was I supposed to know? I always took shit by the handful. I felt an annoying gnat of desire to do more, but didn't want to get fucked up because my life has gotten better and better from being a sober Mister. The days of dramatic brokenness, damaged goods-state-of-being were exhausting.
Meanwhile, to add to stress is the doubling-bubbling-troubling don't-need-the-hubbling-to-see cold sore that POPPED and POOPED out yesterday.

Ah, fantasies. Maybe I can make a million from this blog. My brilliance can shine. And my humility.

..........